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"Every night, I sleep with a God-mirror lying beside me."
Gary Thomas
I can't remember if I posted about this when it came to me, but since this month I'm going to be talking about marriage and, more especially, mine, I'll talk about it again.
As I mentioned in our talk last week, there are many reasons for marriage, and all of those reasons are to exemplify God's relationship to the Church. This is so in many ways. Last week we looked at the fact that the hierarchy of marriage is an example, and this week, let's look at forgiveness, and how being married can show us God through it.
I don't know about you, but in my life, there are many times that I take the forgiveness that I have in Christ for granted, and I even start, too easily, to confess flippantly. My eyes might wander to where they aught not go and linger longer than they should, and I might say in an almost sarcastic way "opps! Sorry Lord!" Am I actually sorry for it? Sometimes, and sometimes not. However, when I mess up and I have to confess it to my wife, it is much different. In fact, when I confess it to her, I later confess it also to Him in a new way. Why is that?
Especially we men are visual beings. That gets us into trouble more often than not, but in this case, we have an opportunity to allow it to bring us closer to Christ and to our wives.
This just came to me, but in a way, this is a great thing about Catholicism and the sacrament of confession.
Anyhow, back to marriage: For example I am cut to the quick more to know my wife's pain at my cheating on her (because Jesus said that to look at a woman to lust after her is adultery also) than I am to realize that I have sinned against the One who is over all the world. Why? Because I can see her. I can see her pain. It hurts to know that I caused pain, but it hurts even more to have to see that pain. Is it because I Love her more than I Love God? No, I do not think so, it is simply that she is seen and He is not, and when I am in the midst of sin, that sight is more potent than knowledge. So in that, it is Mrs. Cowboy's job to, in a sense, "play God" for me. And it is my job to "play God" for her when she sins against me.
In that, there is another thing that I have learned about God through my godly wife: This is a bit more personal than I usually am, but that's ok. Those of you who have been here a while already know this, and the rest of you want to know the real Cowboy, not just the version that is perfect. I, like many other Christian men, struggle with pornography. My wife knows this and supports me and holds me accountable.
It has been a hard ole lesson for this man to learn, but my wife is more interested in my being honest with her than she is about whether or not I mess up. She says that she realizes that this is a struggle I might get over, and that I might deal with all my life. She says that it hurts her more to find out that I have lied to her than it does for me to tell her that I have not had such a good day in that area.
I think that God is the same way. When we sin, God is not nearly as mad at us as we think He is or will be when we confess it. He knows that we will screw up sometimes, no matter what your besetting sin is (and I am of the mind that everybody has a besetting sin or two), and He is there to forgive those who are Christians. He is more interested in the fact that though you give into temptation every once in a while, your heart is repentant and you really are working to the best of your ability to live right. He wants your loyalty to him more than He wants absolute perfection. Do not take that statement and say that I stated that God does not require perfection. He does. The Bible is clear on that, but I think that He is more interested in a perfect spirit than a perfect life. If I'm unclear about that, ask me what I mean, and I'll try again...
In that, if we are to be a God-mirror to our spouse, we must learn to forgive like God forgives. When our spouse asks for it. It is ok to grieve over sin, and it is ok to be hurt. But it is not ok to stay that way. reconcile to the one who sinned against you just as God reconciles Himself to you when you sin.
He does not give us the silent treatment when we confess to Him, He doesn't get mad and throw things around or beat on us when we willingly and honestly come to Him and ask forgiveness, but He holds us and says "I'm here with you son, and I forgive you! Next time, don't take so long to tell me! I Love you and I'm not gonna leave!"
And so should you be for your spouse.
Cowboy
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| | Posted 4/10/2009 7:00 AM - 29 Views - 8 eProps - 5 comments
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